December 2017 my brother passed away from an overdose. It sucked and still sucks big time. He moved in with me three years prior and we found out he was using. Huge shock for sure... nothing like searching your grown brothers room. The intervention went strangely well he admitted it and then gave us no problems going into detox.
The emotions were raw- and to be honest the worst ones were the feelings of helplessness to make this easier on my parents somehow. I hated to see them struggling with the new revelation that really did change our lives.
Greg made it through detox, he made it through rehab and went to work in Europe. He stayed clean, his life seemed to be coming together he even had a plan to propose to his girlfriend- ring picked out location and date everything! It seemed he was doing so well, getting things together and really was gonna make it.
Then that phone call the one that had me saying the phrase I never could understand people saying:
Greg's dead-- all I could say was "What?" over and over my poor mother having to repeat the horrific news- It was like a sucker punch to the heart like everything fell apart. I couldn't believe it I didn't want to believe it.
Maybe I will share my thoughts from that day in the future, but as my eyes are filled with tears even now as I type it will not be now.
That Christmas was on autopilot and I stayed with my parents for quite a while well into the new year. I couldn't leave them I felt like it would be abandoning them, I wanted to fix it but I couldn't change this I couldn't fix it.
Since then the family is slowly healing there are times when we all cry when the memories or the loss just hit hard. We all keep going though we have to we live our lives and think of him often everything a little different in our thoughts and our visions. The trajectory of ours lives changed forever.
Enough for now and not how I meant for this post to go but maybe someone needs to read it.
#addiction #family #death #lifechanges
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